


New Experiences

by aunt_zelda



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexuality, Asexuality Spectrum, Bathing/Washing, Gen, Literal Sleeping Together, Missing Scene, Original Character(s), Platonic Cuddling, Sex Work, Tea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-07-18 08:30:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16114673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aunt_zelda/pseuds/aunt_zelda
Summary: What if the M9 arranged some companionship for the night, but Clay doesn't want what's expected of him.





	New Experiences

**Author's Note:**

> I really like the headcanon that Caduceus is ace. I'm ace myself, and still coming to terms with what that means for me and my life. 
> 
> After the episode where they all met Jester's mom, I wanted to write a little something, and wrote a chunk of this that very night. Work and life then got super busy, but I finally finished this.
> 
> Thank you to Xin for the tea idea, and otdderamin for all the ace Clay posts and encouragement.
> 
>  
> 
> If you feel I have not tagged something I should have, or have portrayed things offensively, please feel free to comment here or message me on tumblr with corrections and I'll do my best to remedy the issue.

Rosanna approached the door with more than a little apprehension. New clients could be tricky, especially first timers like this. Nadine had informed her that the man’s friends had put down the gold for the night to purchase him his first experience. Of the man himself, Nadine had only shrugged and said he would be “interesting.” That had made some of the other women laugh as Rosanna had fixed her hair and sauntered out of the common room. “Interesting” could mean a variety of things and not all of them were appealing. 

The door creaked open as Rosanna knocked – it hadn’t been bolted. 

“Hello?” Rosanna asked tentatively. 

“Oh, hello there,” rumbled a voice from inside the room. “Come on in.”

Rosanna stepped inside. 

The man was … “interesting” didn’t begin to cover it. He was well over seven feet tall, gaunt, and covered in short grey fur. His hair was shockingly pink. His nose reminded Rosanna a bit of a cow, a bit of a deer, and a bit of an alpaca. Rosanna had never seen a man like him before, and the port attracted all manner of interesting people. She’d caught him in the process of removing his armor – bright green plates that struck her as beetle-like in design. 

“Are you lost?” the man asked. “I’m afraid I’m not going to be very good with directions, I’ve just arrived.” He smiled serenely. 

“Oh no, I live here.” Rosanna smiled in return, swiftly regaining her composure. “Your friends sent me to entertain you tonight.”

“Entertain me?” the man tilted his head at her. “Are you a singer too?”

Oh dear. Rosanna leaned back against the door. “Not … exactly. Have you had much experience with … well, the affairs of love?”

“Not at all.” The man frowned slightly. “My friends do keep making a lot of references to that and laughing. I’m missing most of them.”

“Well if you’d like to learn, they’ve sent me to be your teacher.” Rosanna took a few steps towards him. 

“So I can understand their jokes?”

“So you can have some new experiences.” Rosanna set her hand on one of the bucklers. “I could start here.”

“That’s nice of you. It takes so long to get out of this at night.”

Rosanna was used to helping clients out of armor. Nicodranus was a dangerous place and those wealthy enough to visit the Ruby of the Sea’s house knew to keep themselves safe. She took the opportunity to analyze the man. Rosanna was pleased to note that he didn’t smell bad. Most clients she pulled out of armor stank of sweat and polish and she had smelled enough of that to last a lifetime. The fur that covered his body was soft to the touch. Rosanna wondered whether he would have fur on his belly, legs, and back, and what that might feel like during intimacy. 

“I’m Caduceus, Caduceus Clay. I don’t know if my friends told you or not.” The man said as they set the last of his armor onto a nearby table. 

“Nice to meet you, Caduceus Clay. My name is Rosanna.” Rosanna waited for the usual ‘but what’s your real name?’ snide question, but it didn’t come. Caduceus Clay did not seem inclined to pry. 

When Rosanna began to pull his shirt up, Caduceus startled and drew back a half step. 

“What are you doing?” he blinked at her with obvious confusion. This wasn’t the coy dance Rosanna had experienced with clients before. 

“New experiences.” Rosanna gestured to herself and to the bed. 

“I don’t want that kind of experience with you.” Caduceus’ voice was firm but not harsh. “Thank you, but no.”

“I … apologize for the misunderstanding. I’ll go speak with Nadine and send one of the boys instead.” Rosanna felt a flush of embarrassment and frustration. Caduceus’ friends had paid a significant sum for the evening. Now she’d have to relinquish that to one of the others. What sort of friends didn’t know that their friend preferred men? 

“No boys either. No thank you.” Caduceus’ voice had an edge to it now. 

Rosanna floundered. “I’m sorry, but I don’t understand.”

Caduceus sighed heavily. “Nobody seems to. It’s not your fault. I must not be making myself clear. A … a lot of people seem to have desires to do things, with other people. I don’t.”

Rosanna puzzled over this. “Not with men or women?”

Caduceus shook his head.

“Not with your … your own kind, even?” Rosanna knew some elves who only laid with other elves. She’d also met a few creatures in the port with very particular tastes. 

Caduceus again shook his head. 

Rosanna had never heard of this before. But then, she’d often encountered surprising types of people in her line of work and learned to roll along with the new information. 

“I can leave, sir, if you have no need of me.” Rosanna was already halfway through concocting a story of a quick bit of thrusting and the giant man passing out on top of her. The story would make the other employees laugh and not attract any suspicion. 

“You can leave if you want to.” Caduceus shrugged. “But if you’d like to stay, I’d like to enjoy your company tonight.”

Rosanna blinked at him. “But you don’t want to … to tup me.”

“No, no thank you.”

Rosanna bit her lip, thinking quickly. “You said you’re a traveler? You’ve come a long way here to the city?”

“Oh yes. A very long way.”

“Well then, if you’d like … I could wash your feet and give you a massage.” 

Caduceus pondered this for some time. “Yes. That sounds very nice. But just my feet, and nothing above my knees?”

“Of course.” Rosanna promised. She opened one of the cabinets on the wall and found a bowl and towel. After setting both on the floor she waved her hands, murmuring the incantation that filled the bowl with clean, warm water. After some rummaging, Rosanna found a packet of herbs in the cabinet and mixed them into the water. 

“Well that smells very nice, but what are you doing all the way down there? That can’t feel comfortable.” Caduceus patted the mattress beside him. “I know I’m big, but there’s plenty of room up here for two.”

Rosanna startled. She was used to doing this on her knees, for clients who then expected other services while she was in that position. “Um … if it spills, the bed will get wet …”

Caduceus waved a massive hand in the air. “I was going to sleep on the floor anyways. It’s just water.”

That was true. Carefully, Rosanna sat on the bed, setting the bowl between herself and Caduceus. 

Caduceus stretched out and offered a foot to her. It resembled a human foot, but was quite lengthy and had extra joints in the toes. The fur extended over the top of his foot as well, though in thinner and patchier patterns than on the rest of him. 

Rosanna gently washed his feet and began to massage the arches and muscles. She was unfamiliar with his sort of anatomy, but the basics seemed to be similar enough. Rosanna pressed and stroked where she hoped pressure points were located, and was rewarded with smiles and murmurs of contentment from Caduceus. 

Despite his earlier comments, Rosanna wondered if Caduceus would change his mind after having felt her hands at work. But he made no insinuation, no request, and from the look of his trousers his body hadn’t roused itself either. After a leisurely stretch of time, Rosanna set the bowl aside.

“Mmmmmmm … that was … real nice. Real, real nice. Thank you.” Caduceus had a glazed look on his face. He was a man halfway to dreaming while still awake. Rosanna envied that kind of serenity. 

“You’re most welcome.” Rosanna smiled. She enjoyed her job in moments like this, when the client was happy and she’d made them happy. 

“Are you allowed to stay the night?” Caduceus asked, brow furrowing. “Is that rude of me to ask?”

“No, it’s not rude. Your friends paid quite handsomely. For the whole night.”

Caduceus stared at her for a long moment, but it wasn’t uncomfortable to Rosanna. “My family … we’d all uh, sleep in a pile together. It gets so cold up north. I’ve been alone for a very long time and I … miss that. The sleeping together thing. Is that something you can do?”

Rosanna nodded. “I can certainly try.”

Together, Caduceus and Rosanna pulled blankets and pillows from the bed and arranged them into a kind of nest on the floor. Caduceus flumped down and Rosanna clambered half on top of him, shifting her weight as he maneuvered his arms. The feeling was pleasant to Rosanna. Usually she disliked being held close by clients and preferred to retire to her own room after a session. But instead of lying on a damp mattress and sticky with sweat and other fluids, now she was snug and warm underneath blankets with a client who had no interest in her usual services. 

“Thank you, Rosanna.” Caduceus murmured. His voice was slow and soothing. 

“Sleep well, Mr. Clay.” Rosanna whispered back. 

Rosanna woke warm and encircled by a strong arm. She was only a little stiff from sleeping on the floor – the carpet and the blankets had made it more comfortable than she’d expected. Rosanna squirmed slightly and froze. Caduceus was still asleep, but a certain part of his anatomy had woken up. From the feel of it, it would be one of the largest she’d ever had to contend with in this room. 

“Mmmm … morning.” Caduceus woke slowly. He patted Rosanna’s hair clumsily. 

“Morning.” Rosanna wondered if Caduceus would speak up first. When he showed now sign of acknowledging his state she cleared her throat. “Would you like me to … help you this morning?”

“What? Oh … oh that.” Caduceus moved his hips away from Rosanna. “It does that sometimes. I usually ignore it.” Caduceus petted Rosanna’s hair. “I used to swim in the river near my home in the mornings, that took care of it fast. That water was never warm.”

“I …” Rosanna stopped herself from overtly offering the service that clients usually wanted in the morning when they were in such a state. “Did you sleep well?” 

“Mmmm, yessssss … very nice. Maybe I can ask my friends to try that with me sometime. I miss sleeping in a pile. It’s too cold to sleep alone, out on the road.”

Rosanna imagined it would be so. She’d never traveled extensively but she’s noticed that those who did often desired a soft bed as much as a warm body to occupy it with them.

Caduceus yawned loudly and recoiled from the smell of his breath. “I need tea.” He staggered upright and fumbled in his pack. Soon he was fussing with a teapot, packets of herbs, and conjuring hot water with a wave of his hands. 

Rosanna began her morning stretches and watched Caduceus. There was something almost meditative about him as he prepared the tea. His movements were easy and familiar, and as he worked he shook off the fog of sleep.

“One for me … and one for you.” Caduceus proffered a cup of steaming tea to Rosanna. 

She sipped it tentatively. It was tangy and smelled like herbs she couldn’t identify. 

“This is a new blend. I’ve run out of the tea I brought from my home.” Caduceus sighed contentedly as he drank the tea. 

“Where is home?” Rosanna asked. 

“Very far north. Past the Empire. I’ll have to return someday.” Caduceus looked at Rosanna over his cup. “And where is home for you?”

“Oh, just here. All my life.” Rosanna shrugged. That wasn’t very exciting, she supposed, compared to someone who’d traveled all the way from beyond the Empire.

“That’s nice. It’s good to know where your roots are.” Caduceus said. “Too many people don’t know that.”

“I … never thought of it like that.” Rosanna smiled and finished her tea. She handed the cup back to Caduceus. “Thank you.”

“Thank you.” Caduceus smiled that serene smile again. 

“I should be going,” Rosanna gestured to the door. “I’m sure your friends will be waking up soon.”

“Probably. We’re all used to keeping watch on the roads.” 

Rosanna hesitated, then approached Caduceus. “Usually I’d kiss goodbye, but … do you hug?”

“I do.”

“May I hug you goodbye?”

“You may.” Caduceus enveloped her in his arms. 

Rosanna sighed, sinking in to the hug. It felt good to be held by Caduceus Clay. 

Eventually the two broke apart. 

“It was nice to meet you, Caduceus.” Rosanna said, reaching for the door. 

“Likewise. If we stay in the city for a while, can I … see you again?” 

Rosanna nodded. She didn’t have to think twice about that. “Of course.”

Rosanna exited the room just as Caduceus’ friends were waking up and heading downstairs. They saw her wrinkled clothes, tangled hair, and Caduceus’s serene expression, and formed conclusions of their own. There was whistling and joking. 

Walking fast, Rosanna escaped most of it. She heard Caduceus’ friends slapping him on the back and congratulating him. 

She wondered if he’d correct them. She wondered if his friends would understand what had actually transpired even if Caduceus explained it to them. 

The tea still on her tongue, Rosanna returned to the common room for breakfast. She hoped very much that there would be more clients like Caduceus in the future. It was good to learn new ways of making people happy. 

“How was he?” Nadine asked as Rosanna settled at the table for breakfast.

“He was … nice.” Rosanna smiled serenely. “He was very nice.”


End file.
